just wanted to say hi and thanks to everyone that has posted their stories and comments.
i was df'ed a few months ago now and reading this forum has helped out heaps.
based on that i wanted to contribute in the hope that my experiences resonate with someone and help with the healing proccess the way it's helped me.
WOW Adso,
A big welcome to the forum.
As a convert I cannot begin to understand what you have been through. There are many others here with similar stories including my husband who posts as TotallyADD. You will find a lot of support here. From what you have written so far it looks to me that you need more than a support group. You need professional psychological help. I implore you to get it.
The cult of Watchtower divides and conquers. Don't let it conquer you.
Reopened Mind
coffee shop guy directed me to his thread...thank you so much everyone for your thoughts of support, it means a lot to have people who understand and show genuine sympathy.
here's my experience so far.... my father dies monday night & my brother (nonjw) calls me to come home, when i arrive my father is still sitting on the couch- all the jw family is sitting in a semi-circle around him, my non jw brother is standing in the next room.
no one is crying, no one is talking.
Coffee House Girl,
You have a pm
Reopened Mind
coffee shop guy directed me to his thread...thank you so much everyone for your thoughts of support, it means a lot to have people who understand and show genuine sympathy.
here's my experience so far.... my father dies monday night & my brother (nonjw) calls me to come home, when i arrive my father is still sitting on the couch- all the jw family is sitting in a semi-circle around him, my non jw brother is standing in the next room.
no one is crying, no one is talking.
Coffee House Girl (and by extension Coffee Shop Guy),
TotallyADD and I send our sincerest condolences on the loss of your father. No matter how much we anticipate a loved one dying it is still a shock when it happens. It is made even more so by the reactions of those still trapped in the cult.
Your remembrance of your dad with your brother around a campfire was truly touching. Very, very fitting and a true honor to your dad's memory.
Please also extend our sympathies to your brother as well for the hurt he is going through.
Reoened Mind
so, i'm new to the site lurked around for a week or so now before signing up.
i'll try to keep this first post short.
just looking to make some connections with others that have been thru similar life experiences and help out anyone that feels empty and alone after leaving the "organization".
Welcome to the forum Gonzo2K. While I was not raised by JW parents, TotallyADD and I raised our 2 boys in the cult. There is no way around it, following WT directives, raising children in the cult is abusive. By putting children in the forefront of the preaching work, by taking them door to door to talk to strangers about religion and requiring them to talk to strangers with little to no comprehension of what they are saying, that is abusive. That is spiritual abuse. I pioneered for 4 years when my youngest was between the ages of 1 and 5. Nevermind the potential for physical, verbal, and sexual abuse, all tolerated if not outright encouraged by the Society. Then there is the persecution they are forced to endure in school when they refuse to salute the flag and are not allowed to participate in the holiday parties or sports. I can see where my husband and children have missed out on valuable lessons by their exclusion of such activities.
At any rate, please vent. I will be looking forward to reading more of your story when you are ready. Many here can relate to your situation. And for the rest of us the stories you and others post give us more understanding and empathy.
Reopened Mind
its been a while since ive been on how is everyone doing?
but just curious after you left jehovahs witnesses did you look into other religions?
or are any of you currently involved in any other religions now?.
My husband said I am a secular humanist which is what I call myself although I have not joined any group. This most closely defines what I now believe. I do not accept belief in anything supernatural. I think everything has an explanation even though we may never know what that may be. I believe in the human spirit, not any supernatural "holy spirit". I do not understand the shades of difference in the definitions of "atheist", "agnostic", "secular humanist", so I suppose all apply to me in some sense.
Before I became a Witness I had strong doubts in the existence of a loving, caring god. I thought the Bible was simply a collection of stories for the purpose of teaching children moral lessons. I was confident that science would answer all questions. I have returned to those basic beliefs with refinements. Thus I call myself Reopened Mind.
Reopened Mind
i am finally on board after lurking here for quite some time.
i have been impressed and depressed by what i have seen here and hope i can add something meaningful.
a little personal history: i was born the son of the then "congregation servant" and his wife.
30 years out,
I never could understand the prejudice people had toward those who were gay or black or communist or anything else for that matter. For the most part we all want the same thing---to live in peace with our fellow humans. Our differences is what enhances the fabric of our lives. Yet at one time I too was the judgemental narrow minded cult member. If feels so good to accept people for what they are instead of trying to squeeze them into something they cannot be.
I am happy for you that you have a life partner of 14 years.
Just curious, do you have any contact with your child?
Reopened Mind
and if you were dating someone "seriously", how long did that last?.
Congratulations to Vanderhoven7 and his wife(?) for 40 years.
TotallyADD and I passed the 37 year mark in March. Like typical JWs we dated for less than a year before we married.
It matters not the length of time but the strength of the relationship.
Reopened Mind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3y0cd2cocs.
.
I, too, am one who likes to hear English spoken correctly, although from an American standpoint. One of my pet peeves was hearing the speaker say, "Turn to Psalms 83:18" instead of Psalm 83:18. And yes using "of" instead of "have".
For the first several years of our marriage I would constantly correct my husband's grammar and pronounciation. When he became an elder I thought he would appreciate learning how to speak better on stage. Unfortunately all that happened was that he just became more irritated with me. I gradually learned to let it slide most of the time. Well about four years ago he was diagnosed with ADD (he's the poster who goes by the name of TotallyADD) and he feels he has mild dyslexia. So now I've learned to be more understanding and try to listen more for what he is really saying and not so much as how he is saying it. Being raised by Witness parents who themselves did not speak English well and having no motivation to do well in school because the world was going to be destroyed anyway gave him little motivation to apply himself to learning how to speak and write correctly. So now I am just grateful that I have a good man by my side who has come to see the cult of Watchtower for what it really is and we are leaving together and making a new life for ourselves.
Reopened Mind
Mouthy,
Like fine wine you are aging Grace-fully. You're not getting older, you're getting better.
We young whippersnappers need your maturity. So don't you leave.
Reopened Mind
yesterday reopened mind told me it has been a year on jwn.
i asked her how many times has she posted in this last year?
she said not as many times as you.
LOL I told TotallyADD I'm like Mr. Ed; "I never speak unless I have something to say".
But guys, seriously, we both thank all of you for your support over the last year.
Reopened Mind
